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thebarbart

T.B.D.


T.B.D.


Featured in Durham Art Guild's "68th Annual Juried Art Exhibition"

Curated by Nell Fortune-Greeley, Museum Manager at 21c Museum Hotel, Durham, NC.

October 15th - December 3rd.

For more information, please follow this link.


Keeping my theme of avoided topics, I decided to acknowledge one of my own. For my latest painting, I chose to make a self-portrait. I have a chronic condition that has no definitive answers. Because of this, I rebel against the fancy latin name and call it T.B.D. (to be determined). It is an orphan within the medical system, so I do not have one definitive doctor to treat the condition. There is a constant cycle of doctors appointments, labs, and medicine. In spite of this, I still experience chronic pain and fatigue everyday.


I wanted to illustrate the cycle of unknowing that becomes a new monster all its own. It starts to feel like I am not the one benefitting from the medicine, more like the sacrifice for clinical trials. I wanted to represent how it feels to be dependent on this tangled web of medicine for over twenty years. I feel like a puppet or a toy being played with for financial gain. I have an amazing team of doctors and nurses trying to help, but the well-oiled machine of modern medicine does not feel like health care anymore.


Since I am always trying to bring things to the surface for a healing space, it felt like it was appropriate to include my own avoided topic. I have to acknowledge that I have been discussing from arms-length. Once I realized this, I wanted to be more vulnerable in my work. The more I open up to others, the more people I find dealing with similar situations. I hope this can serve to acknowledge what our chronic pain warriors are experiencing during their day-to-day lives. To leave you on a better note, here are some links to solutions I have found along my journey. I hope they can assist you and yours.


For live viewing of the painting, please join us for Third Friday at the Durham Art Guild.



Research

Acupuncture

Healing Yoga/Massage Therapy


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